That pretty much describes what I was feeling this afternoon. I was having lunch, and all of a sudden I got light-headed and felt sick to my stomach. I was sweating, feeling like I was going to pass out.
I’m still not sure what it is — maybe a virus of some kind, maybe food poisoning from something I ate the night before. I know I was dehydrated, and that’s never a good thing.
I’m going to be the designated hitter tonight. We’ve got a lot of good outfielders on this team, and Gary Matthews Jr. is one of the best center fielders. I’m drinking a lot of water, trying to get better. This is just weird, man, having something like that just hit you out of the blue.
We’re going through some rough times right now, and I neeed to be there for my team. You’re not always going to be 100 percent. Over the long season, there are going to be nights when you’re not feeling good, not feeling strong, but you gut it out and do the best you can. I’ve always had that football mentality, going back to high school. I love to compete. When those lights come on . . . it’s like Friday Night Lights. You feel like going out there and competing, making something happen.
I’m sure a lot of fans are worried about us, how we’ve been playing, how we’ve been trying to cope with the loss of Nick Adenhart. All I can ask is that everybody has some patience and understanding. Sure, we’re professionals, well-paid professionals, but we’re also human beings — and this hit everybody in this clubhouse like a thunderbolt. Until you’ve gone through something like that, I don’t see how you can understand what it’s like.
There have been moments since it happened that you feel like you’re in a dream state. Everything just feels unreal. It’s a terrible tragedy for Nick’s family, to lose someone like that, so young and talented, such a great kid. How can it not hit his teammates like a ton of bricks?
We just have to go through it, take it day by day. Time does heal. We’ll get better. We’ll get back to being what we are: a championship-caliber team loaded with high-character guys. We’re good. We’ll show it. Please, just try to be patient and give us some time to get through this.